How to cope with a relationship breakup

Falling in love can be a magical thing. Finding that one person you are happy to be around for long periods of time, being attracted to someone and feeling secure, discovering the world with a partner and being happy is what we all wish for.

Many people fall for someone and get into serious relationships. For whatever reason that relationship may break up and it is crucial to know how to cope with a relationship breakup.

We all know how difficult it can be, so know what to do and what not to do so you do not crack under the weight of it all.

First and foremost you must understand that life goes on. It is going to be hard and there will be points where you'll want to sob into your pillow and shut yourself off from the world. But at some point you must get back up onto your feet again and plod along, holding your head high.

Think of your relationship breakup as a new chapter in your life You were fine without the person in your life before you met them, so why can't you be now? Remember that it ended for a reason and there will be more sadness in staying in a fragile relationship than by moving on and shedding your skin.

Positive things you can do to get back to yourself

Don't lose yourself in this person that is no longer in your life. Do not spend time reminiscing over what could have been. It has ended and you must deal with it.

As harsh as it may sound, you are wasting time when you fret over a broken down relationship that simply cannot be fixed. When there is no hope for a relationship this is your opportunity to get back out into the world and be FREE.

Take note of the following things you can put into action that will help you to cope with a relationship breakup and come out of the other side smiling.

• Declutter your house of your ex partners belongings. Hoarding them will only prolong the process and allow you to think about them more. Start a new beginning and erase the debris that was left behind from the relationship that is no more.
• Have a new look. This is not compulsory but it is a great idea. Looking at yourself and thinking that you were the same way when you were with your previous love of your life will just make you think of all the things he/she loved about you. Turn over a new leaf and get a new hairstyle or new style of clothing that embraces the new person you are becoming.
• An important thing to remember is that it is not going to be easy. Take time to grive but to not dwell on the past too much. Yes, they were a big part of your life and it is going to be excruciatingly difficult. But it will be even more difficult if you dwell too much on what could have been.
• Spend as much time with family and friends as possible. Get yourself out of the house and enjoy other people's company. This will take your mind off the relationship breakup and will allow you to move on with life and realise there are other people out there that love you.
• Take on a new hobby. Start cycling, running, join the gym, play an instrument, etc. Whatever once interested you that you never tried? It could be anything, and you never tried it before because you didn't have the confidence to. Now is your time to shine, you will be surprised at how much you will love having a new hobby to occupy your time and improve your wellbeing.
• Write down your feelings. There will be times when you want to burst into tears and have so much to say. If it feels too raw to spill feelings to other people then write them down in a notepad. Pour your heart out and have a good cry if you have to. It is all part of the process and you'll be surprised at how great you'll feel.
• Be open to options. Be spontaneous and free, this is your chance. If a cute guy/girl wants your number, why not give it? Do not feel sad that your ex partner may get offended, it is time to move on. You do not want to rush into another relationship, but that little bit of lust may be just what you need to pick yourself back up.

Try to avoid doing the following when coping with a relationship breakup. They can leave you feeling deflated, embarassed and more depressed than you were to begin with. Focus on the positives and not the negatives.

• Do not pick up that phone. Whether you have decided to remain friends or not, answering the phone and constantly texting your ex keeps it fresh in your mind and will make it harder to get over eachother.
• Do not isolate yourself. Being alone with your thoughts is dangerous and may result in you crawling back to the broken relationship. Stay strong and be around people.
• Try not to comfort eat or drink. This can lead to problems and it may be comforting at the time but it will not assist in helping you to get over your ex any better. Start exercising and eating healthy, this gives you a new goal to focus on.
• Do not speak with your ex partners friends constantly. Many will do this to fish for information about what they are doing now, who they are seeing, etc. This gives off the impression you are needy and still have feelings for that person. Be the bigger person, delete them off your social networking site or avoid looking at their page. After a few weeks you will forget to check up on them and will feel yourself growing stronger.

These are just some things you should avoid doing. Focus on the positive points listed above and in no time you will feel refreshed and born a new person. Take on new opportunities, travel, discover things you didn't before, have fun with friends and enjoy being single  Not every relationship breakup has to be a disaster! You will be fine! Good luck.